On the hunt

Nathan has been on the job hunt for almost a month now. He has been on countless
(i'm sure he could count) phone interviews, recruiter interviews etc.. nothing has turned up yet. We have filed for unemployment but, unfortunately the maximum amount is 450 or so a week and that just covers our home and car payments.. eek! We do have our tax refund coming back to us shortly. Our last paycheck was last Monday and it was little higher than his usual paychecks so, combined with our state refund we are okay for the month of February (including Ethan's birthday party!!) Praise GOD! I was worried that we would really really have to skimp on it and thankfully we have just enough to give him the dream TOY STORY birthday he keeps asking for.

In the midst of all this uncertainty I try to really just focus on the moment. I try to see this as such a great time for us, as a family. To be together and be able to really unite. Some days I am ready to disband but, those days are fewer than the rest. It's been such a joy to watch Nathan and Ethan enjoy the snow and build forts inside together. At first I thought I had to be uptight and freaked out 24/7. I thought Nathan had to be on the prowl for a job 8 hours a day everyday. But I do feel like God has changed my heart to know that He knows whats best and has been leading me to treasure this time and be grateful to have Nate around while we do cause he will get a job again and things will be a "new normal" again. Instead of wishing for what was or what "should be".. I am accepting what IS, RIGHT NOW and that is all that I can do.

I do absolutely TRUST God to move mountains and put the perfect job for Nathan in front of us, at exactly the RIGHT time. I have an awesome prayer warrior friend Jean and she always says, God is rarely early, but never late. I love that saying! It really does give me great hope! I have been applying for jobs here and there but none of them are panning out for me. I am going to start pursuing p/t jobs that I can work around Nathan's schedule once he does get a job.

I was putting together my calendar today and thought, gosh I have a job. I have to keep track of a million different schedules (mine, ethan's, nate's, doctors, birthdays etc) all the time. I have to get people places, remind them of things, pay for things etc.. I FINALLY realized how much WORK I do for our family. It's crazy.. for a moment I thought, I am too busy to get a job! LOL