Summer 2014!

I did not blog this summer but heres some highlights!  I will resume blogging this school year.

Summer Treat at OrangeLeaf

Daddy catching his girl at Blackbob Bay

Hanging with Miller's at Frontier

Zoo fun with Vallad's

Swimming Lessons

Walking in the stream at Franklin park

Peach pickin' at Geigingers

Summer Blogging

I'm going to attempt to blog this summer.  It will be fun to look back on when school starts!

Our first week of summer break 2014!

Kids played with water balloons and squirt guns. Got the pups soaked! 5/22

First day at the gym pool this summer! It was 

Ice cold!!

Mommy got a beauty break w/ master stylist Lindsay!

Tall enough to slide this year! Yay!memorial day chillax day!

Rock bottomus

Here's the deal. I have had both these tumors for 1.5 years. One is an actual 3mm adenoma on my pituitary gland that secretes prolactin and the other is not a real tumor per se but exhibits symptoms like one.  I've had multiple tests. Been poked,  scanned,  prodded and quizzed and finally come to the conclusion. I hate medicine. It makes me feel bad.I have side effects like crazy, I get lethargic and depressed, I feel worse on the meds than I did before I jumped on this merry go round.

I met my new endocrinologist..hes pretty quirky. I like him. He listens to me and he doesn't sugar coat things. He also doesn't think I NEED extra hormones either. I like him. He does  think I need to lose weight the old fashioned way..in his words..go amish!

So now to talk to my neurologist about what I really need. My vision has stayed the same since oct 2012. No worse. Yes my pressure was high but I am considered obese and this could be a factor. So my case will be.. take me off everything.get my energy and spark back and let me lose weight and see if that doesnt fix it!

I dont want a quick fix surgery. I need to learn to be healthy or it won't last.  I don't want to be the sick one. The one who needs help all the time. The one who is the victim of life. I want to live and I feel like I'm just not dying some days. How depressing. So I'm at the bottom and I'm ready to climb the duck out of here. God can light my path and I'm not looking down/back. This shh has gotten bananas. I don't know who this person is anymore but I don't really recognize her or like her much. Im out.

Pondering

Since I've been resting and healing I've had waayy too much time to think ..and shop online... but that's another post. And I've wondered what's the lesson here? I  believe there's always a lesson to be learned in tough times even if it isn't the main reason for the tough time, if that makes sense.

I focused on the people that did the wrong actions and didn't do the jobs the best way. I focused on the pain I was in and what I was missing and I was miserable in every way. It wasn't until I realized I was fighting with myself. I was telling myself it wasn't okay to not be ok. Over n over. See the problem? I wasn't accepting myself as being the way I was suppose to be at that moment. This moment since I'm still in it. I tried to be stubborn n go to mops cause I felt bad for my kids being victims of my current illness. But then I ended up in so much pain and embarrassment that I had to leave in tears n be driven home (Despite my protests).. I'm so blessed n thankful for the group of moms around me that accept me and love me in spite of myself. Until I catch up. They have been a true blessing checking on me bringing food. Helping transport kids.I don't know what I would do without them seriously. I genuinely hope to be able to return the favor to everyone who graciously helped me. I hope I'm back to normal soon too now that I think the lesson is learned ;)

Results are in!

If you have been following this saga with my health I finally have some answers!  Hooray! I will try to keep this as simple as possible since it gets confusing.

I have two diagnosis'.. A. Prolactinoma which is essentially a benign tumor on my pituitary that secretes the hormone prolactin. I was diagnosed October 2012 with that.  My MRI scan from last week shows it has indeed SHRUNK! Not sure how much as I haven't gotten the report yet but since my old endocrinologist stated it wouldn't change in size I am happy for any change. I meet with my new endocrinologist through St Luke's in February to start treatment again.

My newest diagnosis B. Is Pseudo Tumor Cerebri also known as intercranial hypertension. It's when you display all the symptoms of having a brain tumor but no mass is found. I had a spinal tap last Wed and my pressure measured high, they drained it to normal and they started me on medicine already to keep it normal. One of the ways to combat is through weight loss which this medicine has a strong side effect of.

I could write a whole post on my experience with spinal punctures this week but its still fresh and hurts, literally.
I will say I hope to Never have one ever ever ever again.

Thanks for prayers n well wishes. :)

New Year, New Diagnosis?

Happy New Year All!

How fast did 2013 go by?! Seems like every year with kids makes time fly!

I am dealing with some health stuff again and figured blogging will be a good outlet and also keep those who want to be in the know, in the know.. Here's some background.. I was diagnosed with a Prolactinoma on my Pituitary Gland. It is small and my old endocrinologist said it would not grow or shrink and that we were "managing symptoms"  the symptoms being lactating from elevated Prolactin levels. The medicine I was on was making me cray cray, like super hormonal and not fun to be around. My cycles were like those of a teenage girl and it drove my husband crazy, even though he is sweet enough to only mention it a couple times.. :) So, I quit taking the medicine...

I had also seen a neurologist who diagnosed me with Pseudo Tumor Cerebri.. ( this is when you are showing all signs of a brain tumor but there is no mass found) because my eye exam showed a swollen optic nerve. This is was not confirmed by testing just, guessed and so, my eye doc fought the neuro's diagnosis and requested a second opinion. I was seen by some neuro P.A's and they took me off the diamox because they didn't see any sign of PTC. They only way it can be diagnosed is by a spinal tap to measure the pressure in the fluid in your spinal with corresponds with the fluid surrounding your brain.


About a month ago I had an annual eye exam and when I got there I ended up waiting about an hour before I was even called back. This was because I was on the schedule to have a Field Vision Test before the actual Dr saw me. Well, I was grumpy after waiting and for the mix up and told them I don't need that test done because the diagnosis that required it (PTC) had been tossed out and so I just needed the eye exam. During the eye exam my eye doc noticed my optic nerve was still swollen. So, I ended up going back for the Field Vision Test (which is done to see if you have lost any peripheral vision) My results were only mildly abnormal in my left eye --I missed a spot this year that I had seen last year.

My Opthamologist strongly urged me to go find a Neurologist and get the spinal tap done to see if I do have Pseudo Tumor Cerebri and if not, help figure out why my optic nerve is enlarged. My uncle and my cousin both recommended a Neurologist for me to see and I do really like her and trust her. She ordered another MRI since it's been a year, referred me to an endocrinologist and ordered the lumbar puncture aka. Spinal Tap.

The MRI is to check up on the pituitary adenoma and overall health of my brain and the Spinal is to check the pressure in my spinal fluid and if its high they will drain it to normal pressure and start me on medicine. They don't know what causes Pseudo Tumor Cerebri but, said its common in woman of childbearing age and overweight women or women on acne medications. She said losing 5% of my weight could help but, would like me to lose more, especially if this is what my diagnosis ends up being. So, the medicine we have discussed is also approved for weight loss as well as keeping the pressure to normal in my brain.

I am so stressed just writing that all out and trying to keep it straight. I am scheduled for my MRI and Lumbar Puncture on Jan 15th. Its an outpatient procedure but, I will be laying flat the rest of the day she said. The only thing I am worried about besides getting poked in the spine and being pressured to lose a ton of weight.. Avery has school that day and Nate will be driving me to the appointments.. So, I need help getting her to and from school. I have Ethan taken care of. I have been avoiding talking about it cause its overwhelming and people never like to hear about health issues or know really what to say, I dont know what to say either.. I just wanted to share on a public forum cause its easier to get it all out and then I can answer questions instead of explaining it over and over.

I just need my family & friends to support me and make me laugh. I'm having a hard time dealing with life while having this is in the background of my mind constantly. I am trying to really rely on God and know all will be revealed and taken care of in time. I just hate the waiting and testing game... Hoping my pit tumor has not grown and hope we can get me back to normal again... thanks for reading! Ill keep this updated.

30 Things My Kids should know about me.. In 30 days.

I saw this really cool post on Pinterest awhile back. I pinned it and forgot it. One of my friends just pinned it and I saw it again. I decided to do it! The best way for me to do anything is on the laptop. It's easier to type it out and why not blog it? Then I can see it whenever I want. :-)

So, Day One!
First thing my kids should know about me is to list 20 Random facts about myself! (this reminds me of a feature in my US Weekly magazine, they ask a celeb random things about themselves and I always enjoy reading them) Maybe this should be included in my list hahaha!

Here goes...
#1. I was born tongue-tied and had my frenulum lasered when I had my wisdom teeth pulled, at age 24.
#2. I started school (kindergarten at age 4, which made me the youngest in every grade. When I was in 3rd grade they wanted to advance me to 4th grade because of my reading and writing skills, but they didn't because I was already a grade ahead by age standards.
#3. I am afraid of deep water, I used to be an excellent swimmer but, got thrown into a pool and never recovered from my fears.
#4. I was in a spelling bee in 3rd or 4th grade and lost because I spelt dolphin wrong, D-O-L-F-I-N.
#5. I failed my drivers license test 2 times before I passed.
#6. I was going to help start a girls hockey team in high school, so I got some rollerblades to practice skating during the summer in Minnesota. Never played hockey.
#7. I studied to get my boating license at age 16.
#8. I applied to be a foreign exchange student for my Junior year. I was runner up because my grades weren't good enough.
#9. I switched schools every two years and was in Catholic schools until 8th grade, when I went to live with my grandma.
#10. I hate spiders
#11. I see 11:11 almost daily on my clocks. I think it's my grandma's saying hello!
#12. I used to smoke cigarettes heavily, until I became pregnant with Ethan. Best choice I ever made, to quit and stay quit.
#13. I have never been a runner and used to fake injuries in volleyball so I didn't have to run.
#14. If money were no object, we would live in the mountains of Colorado and have a cabin in Northern Minnesota.
#15. I was named after the baby across the hall. My mom thought I was gonna be a boy, Joshua.
#16. I wanted to join the peace corps after college.
#17. My first job was a dishwasher at a restaurant, age 15.. and im still washing dishes! ;-)
#18. I've had about 50 jobs, give or take in my life. Age 15-26
#19. My favorite number is 11.
#20. I love Peanut M&M's, but not plain peanuts.